Why is it that everyone my age feels alone? I don’t get it. We’re all together but alone. What is this madness?

Whenever I read all my private blog posts usually it’s along the lines of “I’m alone boohoo, I’m sad, I’m hungry, I’m pregnant” Wait what? I never said that… well, not the last one hehe. I’m the only one who laughs at my jokes these days.

I find myself getting caught up in my stupid life way too often for my liking, and really not taking enough time off. While everyone who I want to be is/are (my English gets shitter by the day, I swear) cantering all around Europe, I’m sitting at home, listening to torrential rain that hasn’t stopped for about 4 days. I really need a holiday but I’m just too cheap/lazy/unloved to find someone/somewhere to go.

I swear when I started this post I actually had something to say… I guess I’m getting to old to remember all this stuff, unless you count song lyrics, my brain has an unlimited capacity to remember every trashy pop song on the planet I’ve only heard once (which also works in French, I suggest you Youtube search: “Dingue de toi Nabi Nabila”).

My schoolwork is getting more and more stressful, and the fact that my brilliance continues to be unrecognized… well let’s just say it hurts my ego. Naw, who am I kidding. I’m certainly not brilliant. Anyone who knows me would probably tell me that I’d be brilliant if I chose to. But most of the time I’m too busy extending my brilliance to other areas of life to bother with trivial things like schoolwork. All my teachers scare me, to be honest. One of them starts every sentence with “Felicity…” and I’m not sure whether he’s being friendly or undermining. Either way, since he’s the one telling me I need to write better I usually take it as undermining.

When I said I get so caught up in my stupid life I was really talking about languages. Since languages seem to be my future, and consequently two of the three subjects I take at school, I spend way too much time obsessing over them. They regularly send me into panics.. which I hate. The main point of any language (last time I checked) was to communicate, and to communicate well!

Since I am indeed an articulate being… I feel that I have accomplished this mission. Now I just have to prove it to the people who mark my DALF exam. (And to that teacher who says my name every chance he gets…)



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