Facebook in all its Glory

How Facebook is ruining my social life

You know the old saying “Ignorance is bliss”, well, Ignorance is indeed bliss. I think I was happier when I thought the quiet girl who who would blush whenever anyone looked in her direction didn’t have a new boyfriend every week. I look at all these people who I was so convinced I knew and suddenly they’re complete strangers. Facebook has also single handedly destroyed my family. I added my favourite cousin on Facebook, and he accepted me, of course. It’s an unspoken rule that you add someone with the same last name as you (regardless if they’re actually related to you or not). One day I decided to send him a message just to ask how he was and how old he was (last time I checked he was 10 and I was 7). I find his profile and notice that we are no longer friends… that’s right, my own flesh and blog had basically disowned me. So I added him, thinking there was probably some terrible mistake, he accepted me and then promptly deletes me again. One word — rude. Needless to say I have not association with that side of the family since.

How Facebook is (probably) worse than heroin

It’s like a train wreck, you want to look away and save yourself while you can… but at the same time it is so hypnotising that you’re sure 5 more minutes won’t hurt. You’re wrong. Five more minutes is slowly leading to your demise! Numerous case studies have proved time and time again that people are putting Facebook higher and higher on their priorities list. The majority of us don’t care if you just made dinner, or if it’s raining because since the 1900s most of us have had windows installed in our houses, so we too are up to date with the weather. Come on, people! When you have a child why don’t you hold it for a little while before discarding it in the corner and taking to Facebook to announce “i justt had a babey lol.”

How Facebook brings out everyone’s inner Narcissist

When you log into Hell (commonly known as Facebook) one of the first things you would probably notice is that everyone is preoccupied trying to prove to everyone that their lives are better than everyone else’s. In most cases it’s nice to hear people enjoying themselves (though it gets rather tedious after 20 minutes), and all’s well if that actually was the truth… but astonishingly Facebook is actually CAUSING depression, not reducing it. It seems that having 1000 friends and being tagged in pictures of you participating in some underage drinking (or at one of those awkward family reunions where you have to dance with one of your uncles) isn’t actually the key to happiness. Probably because it makes you think “But because of all this aren’t I supposed to have/be…” In reality, it’s when the world ends and the zombies attack that you find out who your real friends are.

Despite all these points that were probably really discouraging to anyone considering joining Facebook, my sole tip is that… DON’T! IGNORANCE IS BLISS.

I’m just kidding. Go ahead, but you have been warned.


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